Practicing Metta. Noticing blocks to Metta; they feel the same as those for other meditations, attachment, aversion, doubt. Also something not to be held too tightly or too loosely. And then, it seems that Metta is almost something that happens by itself; it needs trust... I find trust in letting go of all of the hindrances I normally trust in.
I notice myself receiving Metta as I offer it, a kind closeness to my doubt, a non-avoidance and then a letting go that opens me up to allow Metta to be offered. How foolish I have been to not allow this washing, this opening, to happen by itself. I repeat the Metta phrases for a troubled friend and let go of wishing for things to be different; instead I want them to be different, to be the best they can be, to open in awareness and peace and freedom.
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