When I am agitated, things look agitating. The rock does not fit properly, it smells bad (really, I smelled it, its a bit like gun oil, but more on that later), the meditation bell is dirty and less than imperfect, the silver lamp is sharp and cheap, the large rock has poorly drawn circles on it, the crushed rose tells me I do not have what it represents in my hand, all things pulse like an aura before a migraine.
But these things are surely much more neutral. I sit with the stone and this unpleasantness. I shift first, to a more open awareness; my body softens, my mind holds the thought of neutrality, of being present, of exploration and the objects soften. As they soften I can see more about them, and I notice the words that I have written on them, 'dirty', 'cheap', 'poorly', 'I do not have', 'bad'..... These are strong judgments. I notice that they are there before I speak them, unconscious links to the past.
The objects soften more and become neutral, then friendly, arranged like little mushrooms with something to say, a village, the lamp is cute, the bell has character, the beauty of nature's circles. These words are from history also.
I may choose the present only from among that which I have chosen to see.
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