Day One Hundred and Sixty Five

Repeated touching and saying 'touching', noticing thought and bringing attention firmly back cuts through thought. Then the body sensations become more acute, with subtle thoughts about them, biological questions about well being. Then there is wrestling with a kind of blankness, a little doubt sprinkled over boredom and anxiety stew. It actually has a curious taste, but not one that is nutritious. Then concentration and restlessness. The mind does not at first like being stilled. But then there is bliss.... sometimes it is tingling, sometimes more ethereal. Sometimes there is attachment to it. Always there is some attachment to it. But it is more true, more in time, more here than thinking ever is. It is here like the body is here when the mind no longer argues with it. It is here like the mind when it no longer succumbs to directionless will.