Dancing to music tonight. It is hard to reorient the body and mind to recreation, to openness. So much of my time is spent protecting myself or satisfying myself, worrying. Meditation is likewise hard to orient to. My body starts to calm and looks for sleep instead.
Metta is the activity which is purely not involved in self-satisfaction, and it is also difficult to let go and do, and to still apply open attention that does not look for anything. I might say it should be easy to harmonize with the world, to offer harmony, but I have long made myself apart.
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