Day One Hundred

I hold the stone lightly and run through many thoughts without wanting to. I look at them briefly and go back to touching. I feel the tension in the thoughts where I want to solve, find, follow, and battle. I ask myself if liberation is different from where I am, if it is in another place and another time. I understand that thought to just be my desire to split things into myself and something to follow. I mistrust my ability to be with myself. I feel loving attention in each thought for a while, right in the middle of a doubt and fear. Here is where liberation begins. At times I do not follow, I let the thoughts run away. Other times I sink into their empty core.