Day One Hundred and Fifty Four

Resistance is hard to underestimate as a primary factor in fostering blindness to what is really happening, but it is also hard to see. I can feel it in tiredness of the body, in comparison of myself to others or to some ideal, and even in a general spiritual way. I resist letting go, and therefore I resist freedom. Not just 'freedom from', either, but actual living freedom. Liberation, not surprisingly, is mostly process and not a location of being free from something. That would be nice, but being at rest from or liberated in contrast to something brings another struggle; the struggle to get away from being bound. It is so subtle, this resistance to things.... there may be liberation from attachment, but the process is one of awareness without any struggle at all. There is movemnent, change, motivation of the will, and so on, but the process is mostly a kind observation. Kind observation moves me in the right direction.

Resistance is unkind blindness, wrapped around a stocking of coal. The stone of concentration is a steadfast anchor that all of my difficulties show up around. It is a gift.