Day Three Hundred and twenty nine

Feeling ill from Lyme bite and antibiotic tonight. Noticing how tightly I hold on to wellness, such that I refuse to notice illness; not that I feel well, but that I tell myself I cannot be sick. Slightly feverish, I notice my mind getting tied up with the body, affected by the body, struggling with the body. It is an odd struggle to be trying not to notice it, not to allow for it, not to rest. Noticing it, I accept the heat and aches and allow myself to be in a different place than I usually am. My thoughts skitter like water in a frying pan.

But the water comes from a great pool that trickles over cool rocks, somewhere in the nature of that which holds me.