Day Two Hundred and Seventy two

Retreat discussion night. I am considering Lama Gursam's instructions that lay life be a place of great enlightenment. Also how he was a philosopher and felt that he knew many things but his knowledge as he said was 'in the book', meaning that when he wasn't reading the theory, he could not relate to dharma, the first time he sat down for long practice his mind became empty in sort of a useless way. In both cases I believe he was asking me to look at whatever is arising here and to work with these things. There are so many hindrances and shades of hindrance, so many things to cling to, it seems that life is just far too washed with them to have any definition. And so I cling to 'clarity' of theory and miss the things in front of me, the hindrances that are right here and the forgiveness and love as well.