Saturday, August 29, 2009

Day Six

At first I notice nothing but restlessness and haze. I note that and get a little distance. It seems helpful to name it as a big cloud. I notice a frustration with noticing; and a desire to 'get back' to being busy. I name that, also. The cloud breaks up a little with acceptance, into numerous body feelings and thoughts, with which I have numerous feelings and reactions. I touch the stone. "I am not a good meditator" I think. "I will write a book on meditation" I think. Honestly, I don't know how I can have such grandiose and poor evaluations in the same head, but I do.

I touch the stone. At first, there is the touching of the stone vs all else, the thoughts, the struggles, the body. I bring more attention back to the stone, and it becomes an anchor for receiving and letting pass all of the other junk. I feel much more at rest, receptive, not struggling.

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